You Can’t Make That Up
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008So, one of the reasons I was eager to head down here to Bedford and see my family was so I could hop on my Honda Shadow and do some riding, especially since I spent all summer listening to the muffled sound of straight pipes off in the distance during our hike. I had an itch only 2 wheels and the open road could scratch. I spent the first couple days riding as much as I could, and that even included a few nights riding when the temps were down in the 50’s and my leather jacket was still up in storage. It was a bit chilly and Mel, who is still my constant companion, was a real trooper for braving those temps at 60 mph in nothing but shorts and a pink IU sweatshirt. Yesterday though, I kissed her goodbye in the morning and headed about 70 miles southeast to the town of Salem, where I was set to meet my best friend from JH and HS, Cory Fountain, who has his own Honda Shadow and had a hankering to ride almost as badly as I did. We met @ the Fast Max gas station, I took a trip to the little boys room, and found graffiti on the “unmentionables” machine that said, and I quote, “You people with the lould (sp) motorcycles are all luniticks (sp).” After marveling at the education system in wonderful Washington County, we hopped on our bikes and headed north on IN 135 toward Brownstown. This is where the story takes a noteworthy turn. About 12 miles north of Salem, and about 14 miles south of Brownstown, I spied with my little eye a large black insect heading in my general direction, and with the 65 mph my speed added to his normal flight velocity, I figure he was coming at around 75 mph. That large insect just missed the top of my windshield, went just right of my face, and lodged, with a bit of a splat that only a bug going 75 mph can produce, between my helmet strap and the back of my right ear. For a few brief moments, I comtemplated what must have been going through his mind just as he died (probably his butt was my assumtion), and then I became keenly aware of the fact that he was not yet dead, just incredibly disoriented and no doubt a little put off to have been taken away from his daily tasks by a man on a screaming metallic monster. Turns out, the wounded insect in question was a wasp of considerable size and less than considerable patience. As I sped down the highway with Cory only a few feet to my right and behind me, the little winged demon proceeded to sting me no less than 3 times in the back of the ear while I made flailing attempts with my right hand to punch to living poo out of my ear in an effort to smash said demon between the back of my ear and my skull. After what seemed like a month and a half (probably 2 or 3 seconds) the wasp either flew away or was to worn down from the beating he was receiving to continue to hang on to my flesh with his needle point, poison tipped stinger and just fell off. Either way, I managed to avoid disaster, my ear swelled to twice the normal size, and I could only take solace in the fact that somewhere, there’s a wasp telling his wife and kids about the monster he stabbed with all his might and it just kept on beating him down! I’m also happy to know that in 2 weeks or so, at the first hard freeze, he’ll probably be down in insect hell, and I’ll be nice and warm in my new car..What? A new car? Well, not new I guess, but new to us. Another event of the past few days includes us finding a car without having to work through the entire process that Melissa so eloquently described in her last blog. Instead of purchasing online, we found out that James and Janice (my brother and sister-in-law) had an ‘02 Geo Prism (which is exactly the same as a Toyota Corolla of similar year, even down to the tags and stickers on the engine that say Toyota!) that they wanted to get rid of for cheap, even cheaper than Mel and I were prepared to pay for a car of similar make and model year. So, we’re making plans to pry off the Prism tag on the back, as that name sounds to us like it should be the name for one of the girlfriends on The Smurfs, and we should have a decent car for the next few years.
A few other things of note from the past few days include cutting some wood on Saturday with James and John Cummings (my step-brother-in-law), getting together @ Mom’s with 23 other people from the family for dinner and welcome home party, going to church with Mom, sleeping in, riding the motorcycle some more, spending time with Sadie, the Wonder Dog, and going to see FireProof. Turns out, a Christian company was finally able to produce a movie that preached the Gospel, made great points, appealed to a broader audience and even made a guy who lived in the woods for 6 months cry like a baby. Mel and I both highly recommend the movie and also think its one you could invite anyone out to see with you.
For now, we’re off to get our 2nd massage in 3 days from my mom, the recently graduated massage therapist, spend some time with the nieces and nephews, and then have dinner tonight with Dad and Shari. Have a good one and, if you’re still reading this and haven’t commented since the end of our hike, drop us a line and let us know you’re still there. One final note: Chris told me to expect some more pics and videos in the coming days so keep a sharp eye out for those. Peace and love.